The Shape of Blog To Come

   The moment I sat down to write tonight I felt like this kind of post has actually been a long time coming. I've always injected a dose of "personal" on here and somehow I've been compelled to share bits of myself with the readers, now especially for some reason. Seems like this will be a long one, so strap yourself in, we're going on an emotional roller coaster!

   Whoever was here from the beginning (2010, holy crap!) knows what kind of approach I had to this blog. Back then I was some random young dude (in my early twenties) in love with a music genre that was entirely nonexistent in my surroundings and without material means to travel around and go to countries where the gigs were happening. The vast internet space filled with bands and an active blogging community were my window into the music world and I was absolutely captivated by it. I lived and breathed screamo ever since I first downloaded a "Saetia" song (think it was "Endymion") on my horrible 56k internet connection. Numerous bands later, I was so fascinated by the genre that I wanted to give it a special place of my very own, a sort of altar if you will. I was never lucky (or good enough of a bass player actually) to have my own band, so the written word was what I had left. And I behaved accordingly while on here, I wrote with reverence, passion, honesty and without much thinking, it simply flowed out of me. And, to be quite frank, I ended up being proud of myself and thinking that this creative process will be unstoppable.

   Alas, things are not always going according to plan. It's easy to notice on the blog roll that my output started moving to a grinding halt in 2013. The year before slowly started throwing me curve balls which I wasn't ready to catch. During that entire period, I was faced with numerous losses, of friends, of love and, several times, even of life. The reality of my existence within the boundaries of my family was rapidly crumbling. Through some escape routes which I desperately clinged to I managed to additionally fill my life with abuse, depression and even more tragedy. No matter how much I struggled to stay on solid ground I was, in fact, nowhere. Physically I was present (and deteriorating), but mentally and emotionally I was completely drifting away.

   Naturally, somewhere along the way it became almost tormenting to write about anything or to come up with decent, creative material, since I clearly didn't have a peace of mind. It wasn't passion anymore, it was a chore and a part of a now broken, chaotic routine. In the back of my head I kept telling myself all sorts of excuses, that this was (at least, partially) caused by the blogging community dispersing and screamo itself slowly dying, so there was no point to write since nobody will read. In reality, life simply managed to crush something in me.

   Some sparks of my old flame persevered, showing up from time to time. There were signs of life and yet, there still looms a post from 2013 on the front page of this blog. Undeniably I have endured and to me these scattered embers represent my climb out of the sinkhole. My existence is much healthier now, I am still healing and even though the scars are still there and some wounds are fresh, I'm getting out.

   The culmination of everything is that I've also been struggling with the identity of this blog for a while, in terms of what it was, what it currently is and what I want it to be in the future. This place was born out of my infatuation with screamo and my wish to give something back to a community that had my utmost admiration. I wasn't completely lying to myself before, these two things are not what they were before, but they are far from dead. Fact is that there isn't AS MUCH material to write about as there was in previous years and some of those vacant spaces have been filled with other genres and other names. Because of this, I was scared whether or not those "others" deserved a place here or should I simply create a new blog for them. It somehow felt like I would taint the screamo altar which I built. Even though there already are some other genres on here, moving away from the DIY scene seemed to invoke dread of not being true to what this place was. Which is an utter shame, since because of this way of thinking the blog was denied so many good things... I've seen concerts from "Tool", "The Smashing Pumpkins", "Deftones", "The Cure", "Dead Can Dance", "King Dude" and so many other amazing artists who left a mind blowing impression on me which absolutely deserved to be written about. I discovered scores of talented electronic projects, some of which completely annihilated my anxiety with their tunes and whose names should be spread around. Tons and tons of possible album reviews and interviews have been ignored and cancelled, because of my own doubts, lack of direction, peer pressure and constant thinking about whether a thing is "true" enough or not.
   Looking back at all this, part of me gets angry and another one gets sad, yet I can't hide a chuckle as well, since I realize how limiting and crippling that way of thinking was. I have evolved and I think that this blog also deserves a part of this evolution. Nothing will ever be tainted, as long as I remain like I always was, passionate and honest.
   So what does all this gibberish mean? It means that, as long as I am alive and kicking I want to keep this blog active because it still means a lot to me and it always will. All these words might seem silly or overblown to you, but I came to realize that writing here indeed means so much to me. Natures With No Plagues has always been my safe haven (unintentionally, the name turned out quite self-explanatory in a way) and a significant part of my life and who I am and who I am becoming. It has been a catalyst of many real life adventures, fond memories and strong friendships that last to this day (you know who you are!). Ultimately, music saved me many times, as I am sure it will do so in the future as well, and this is my praise and recognition of it.

   Moving forward, I'll do my best to write about the music I deem worthy, regardless of the shackles of genre. Screamo will forever hold an immense part of my musical being, but there are others worthy of standing side by side with it. Even though it might take some time to start doing interviews and collaborations again, rest assured that I will certainly head in that direction. There is much to do on here and I plan on taking it slowly, this post being the first small step. In those regards, one recent noteworthy change is the small section on the left, a list of gigs where you might encounter me. If you happen to be on any of those gigs, feel free to get in touch, would love to hang out with you all.

   Last, but absolutely not the least... thank you. Yes, you. Thank you for reading this and for being with me on this journey. I am sincerely grateful to all of you, for all your time spent on here and for all the comments left to me. To all the people who bumped into me on gigs and said hi or who had an opinion (positive or negative) regarding my work. To anyone who ever donated. To every band who ever showed any kind of interest in being hosted here. To the things and people who tried to break me, but who ended up making me stronger. To anyone and everyone. Thank you. This isn't for you.

TL;DR: Emotional wall of text. Life can be horrible, but music and passion can heal all wounds. Old/current blog content going through clean-up, new content (screamo+other various genres) coming. Thank you (!!!) to everyone who has ever supported me on here. BELIEVE IN YOURSELF AND NEVER LET THE BASTARDS GET YOU DOWN.